24 Things to do in an elevator.

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

Mystery of the pot bellies part 2.

What I covered previously was just during day time. Now for what they do after office hours....

We had a Residential Inspection (RI) a few days ago and we passed this smoothly. So come managers from the main contractor company went for dinner and drinks at the kopi-tiam nearby and my boss asked me and my friend to tag along. Okay for dinner we didnt order much, just some dishes and stuff. But they ordered like what? 10 gallons of beer??? And after dinner they still ask, 'Want to go karaoke mai??' What do they do there? Drink somemore! And know more girls! Still want to drag me along somemore. I rather go and touch the dusty pipes and carry fire extinguishers then touch the girls there lah.

For a project there will be many RIs. And imagine they go and celebrate like this after every inspection, and after every successful contract negotiation, and after every phase completion. No wonder their bellies get bigger and bigger!!

Conclusion:
A typical pot belly is made up of:
40% fat
30% beer
20% kopi/tea/soya bean
10% STD virus!!

My 2nd sis gave birth to a healthy baby girl this morning at 6.09am. She's the fourth addition to my family since 1999. She's big! She weighs 4.13 kg while I was only 3.5 kg or so when I was born. My house is gonna be even livier and noisier and messy from now on. 4 kids!! I hope that she's quiet and easy to feed and fall asleep easily. Not much to ask for right? Haha. She's not named yet, as her parents want to consult a fortune teller 1st. But anyway, I looking forward to seeing her!

After a few weeks of working in a construction site, I finally found some time to slack off in the day time. My work cant start until 7pm as we are doing the fire alarm tests and if we do this in the day it will be noisy and disturbing. So for the past few days I've been walking around aimlessly, playing bejewelled and minesweeper, and taking a lot of kopi breaks.

Since I was so bored, I went to observe ppl. What I found out is shocking! About 99% of the men working in the site holding engineer positions and above have POT BELLIES! Not the small belly type, but those that are able to rival pregnant women! I don't notice this high percentage in other places before! And so after much detective work, I present my theory. The pot bellies usually do plannings, meetings and paperwork. Sounds very desk bound job right? But you're wrong. They need to be on the move most of the time, sometimes supervising works, attend meetings at different places, liasing with other people etc. And this is the problem. In between meetings, if they got the time, where do they go? Office? No way! What if they kana more arrows in the office to do more work? And so they go for canteen breaks! They went up to 3 canteen breaks in a day, excluding lunch time and dinner time (if they got OT). And if there's OT, there's always the supper! So here's a typical day of a pot belly:

900am - Report to work
930am - Boss not here yet, go and eat breakfast.
1000am - Meeting
1100am - Too early for lunch, dangerous time to go back office, so canteen beckons.
1200pm - LUNCH!!
100pm - After lunch break, slack around in office before another meeting
130pm - Meeting
300pm - Official coffee break.
330pm - Saw old friend, or met other boss - extend coffee break for chit chat or informal meeting.
400pm - Go back office to do some work and show face
530pm - Go home/Dinner if there's OT

Their coffee breaks are not just drinking coffee only. There will be snacks or finger food like chicken wings, buns, bread, deserts, nuggets, fishballs, fries, burgers and so on... Now you know where the bellies came from.

Mi di yi zing jie kai le!

Finished my work at 4am, and cooked some noodles once I reached home. Going to report to work at 1pm tmr and I cant sleep. Strange.

Damnit my pay check is not here yet. It wont be ready in time for Comex! Argh! Speaking of Comex, anyone interested?

My desktop has been spolit for a few months. And since I've decided to use my laptop at home now, I plan to get rid of my desktop minus the hard disk of course. And so I went to get a external hard disk cover for $55 so that I can put in my desktop harddisk in, and WALA! A portable hard disk drive for my laptop! After I bought it I realised that I can just buy the cable to hook it into my laptop for $25!! Argh..

But nevertheless, I got my old hard disk running while I was backing up my files into it I found these pictures. Haha.. Enjoy!


Yup, that baby is me! My 2nd sis on the left, my mum in the centre and my eldest sis on the right. Their dressing in the picture is what we called retro now.


Fast forward 23 years later, and here's what you get. A prawn in my nose?? Haha.


And playing prank on Alan. A candle on his belly button! And all this while he tot someone else did it! It was me! Haha.


FOC time. A bunch of gundos!

Just tell me what do you think they are doing..


Sorry Jus, this pic is just too funny. Haha couldn't resist not putting it up.


Ghost!! Argh!!


Look! I have a beak!!

Ok funny pics are over. Now for the 'seh' ones..


I like this pic! Damn pro right?


ROCKK

This pic is very heart wrenching. Don't you think so?

Here're 2 to brighten up...

That's me at dbl o last night. Haha. Thanks for coming and getting me drunk. =)

I bought 5 dollars TOTO quick pick and won 30 bucks. Minus away $26 medical fee (I went to see doc for MC), I made a loss of $1. Haha! I will look forward to more MCs in the future, something which I've never thought I will be looking forward to. Haiz. Work is such a drag now. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate working. It's just this job I'm doing now. Argh..

Ok back to my rest day. It rained heavily just as I was going to fetch my nephew home. His kindergarden is 10 mins walk away from my house, and due to the fact that it was raining pretty heavily and I was wearing a pair of 'botak' slippers, I was late and my nephew cried a bit in school cos he thought no one is going to bring him home. Haha. You should have seen the way I walked, like those ancient Chinese girls who bind their feets, taking small, painful and careful steps. I almost slipped and fell most of the time. Damn the sheltered walkways, they can shelter people from rain, but the bloody tiles are so slippery!

And after lunch I slept the whole afternoon away. Shiok.

I've won!!! Yes!! I won TOTO!!! My eyes almost popped out when I saw the results!!

I am rich!!

Together with 44,206 ppl, I am richer by 30 bucks!!!

Wooohooo~~!!!

That was a good game! And Liverpool won!

TOTO jackpot on Monday is $5.5 million! :)~~

My boss just don't get it...

I'm freaking bored. I'm not sleepy, not hungry, and my dota khakis are not around. Just played one game with my friend's friends and still feel sian. Thought that could meet up some of the bookworm gang later but got cancelled. I think I'll go watch some dvds.

Everytime when it gets too quiet, I can imagine my phone ringing, and it will be my boos looking for me.
Everytime before I fall asleep, I will be thinking bout stuff at work.
I even dream of my work place!!

Please tell me I am still sane.

You are in a deep deep forest... as you walk on you saw an old hut standing there

(1) What is the status of the door?
(Opened/closed)


You enter the hut and see a table...
(2) What is the shape of the table?
(Round/Oval/Square/Rectangle/Triangle)


On top of the table there is a vase... in the vase there is water.
(3) How much water is it filled up with?
(Full/Half/Empty)


(4) and what is the vase made of?
[(Glass/porcelain/clay)(metal/plastic/wood)]


You walk out of the hut... as you carry on your walk in the forest... you see a waterfall from far...there is water running down...
(5) What is the speed of the water?
(Choose a number ranging from 0 to 10)
5

Some time after the waterfall... you step on something hard on the ground... as you look down... you see glistening gold in colour. You bend down and pick it up... it is a keychain chained with keys...
(6) How many key /keys you see hanging on the keychain?
(Choose a number ranging from 1 to 10)
2

You walk on and on... trying to find your way out...suddenly you see a castle.
(7) What is the condition of the castle?
(Old/new)


You enter the castle and saw a pool of murky water with shining jewels floating on it...
(8) Will you pick up the jewel?
(YES/NO)


Next to the murky pool... there's another pool... with clear water and money floating on it...
(9) Will you pick the money?
(YES/NO)


Walking to the end of the castle there is an exit...you proceed to walk out of the castle. Outside the exit, there is big garden, you see a box on the ground.
(10) What is the size of the box?
(small/medium/big)


(11) What is the material of the box?
(cardboard/paper/wooden/metal)


There is a bridge in the garden some distance away from the box,
(12) What is the bridge made of?
(metal/wooden/rattan)


Across the bridge, there is a horse.
(13) What is the colour of the horse?
(white/grey/brown/black)


(14) What is the horse doing?
(still and quiet/nibbling grass/running about)


OH NO!!! There is a tornado coming... some distance from the horse. You have 3 options:
(i) run and hide in the box?
(ii) run and hide under the bridge?
(iii) run to the horse, ride on and gallop away?

------------------------------------------------------------------------



Here are the interpretations:


(1) The door:
opened door - you are a person who is willing to share
closed door - you are a person who is keeping things to yourself
I keep my $$ to myself.. Hahaha!


(2) The table:
Round/oval - any friends that came along, you will accept and trust them completely
Square/rectangle - you are a bit more choosy on friends and only hangout with those whom you think are on the same frequency
Triangle - you are really very very picky about friends and there are not many friends in your life


(3) Water in vase:


Empty - your life is not fulfilled
Half filled - what you want in your life is half fullfilled
Full - your life is completely fulfilled and good for you! :)


(4) Material of vase:
glass/clay/porcelain - you are weak in your life and tends to be fragile
metal/plastic/wood - you are strong in your life


(5) Flow of waterfall:
0 - no sex drive at all
1 to 4 - low sex drive
5 - average sex drive
6 to 9 - high sex drive
10 - gone case!!! super high sex drive!!! Can't live without sex...


(6) Keys:
1 - you have one good friend in your life
2 to 5 - you have a few good friends in your life
6 to 10 - you have a lot good friends


(7) Castle:
Old - shows that your last relationship is not a good one and is not memorable to you.
New - your last relationship is good and it's still fresh in your heart.


(8) The jewel from the murky pool water:
YES - when your partner is around you, you will flirt around with others.
NO - when your partner is around, you will stick around with him/her most of the time.
Opps..

(9) The money from the clear water pool:
YES - even when your partner is not around you, you will still flirt around with others.
NO - even when your partner is not around, you will still think of her and and will be loyal to her, not flirting around with others.
Opps! Double Kill..


(10) The size of the box:
small - low ego
medium - average ego
big - high ego


(11) Material of the box (outlook of the box):
cardboard/paper/wooden(non-shining) - humble personality
metal - proud and stuck up personality


(12) The material of the bridge:
metal bridge - have very strong bond with your friends
wooden bridge - average bond with your friends
rattan bridge - you are not in good terms with your friends


(13) Colour of the horse:
white - your partner is pure and good in your heart.
grey/brown - your partner is only average in your heart.
black - your partner doesn't seem to be good in your heart and appears to be bad sign.


(14) Horse action:
still and quiet/nibbling grass - your partner is a very homely and humble person.
running about - your partner is a wild type person.


This the last but most important part of the test.
From how I ended the story... a tornado approaches... What are you going do? There are only 3 options:
(i) run and hide in the box?
(ii) run and hide under the bridge?
(iii) run to the horse, ride on and gallop away?


What will you choose?


Now, the above is signified by these things:
tornado - problems in your life
box - you
bridge - your friends
horse - your partner


(i) So if you choose the box, you keep your problems to yourself whenever you are met with problems.
(ii) or if you choose the bridge, you will go to your friends whenever you meet problems.
(iii) or lastly if you choose the horse, you seek your partner whenever your partner whenever you meet with problems.

I appeared in I-Weekly! It's just a small pic in some article bout campus food, and a bunch of interns from some poly came to Canteen 2 and I happened to be having lunch there. Actually I was quite pissed off that time, cos I just finished 1 paper and wanted to have a nice lunch then take a nice nap but instead these ppl keep asking and taking pics and preventing me from eating my chicken chop!! Think can tell from the pic that I am trying very hard to smile.

So have u bought a copy yet?



Speaking of interns, I worked till 8pm on yesterday, on a Sat night! I almost had to go to work today also! Argh! They have to rush cos the deadline is approaching very soon, and there are many things uncompleted and many many cock ups! Some thing is very wrong somewhere in the management and organisation of the whole project, and now everybody is suffering. And everyone is in this shit due to a few irresponsible idiots, who take MC on crucial days. Some even left the company and passed their shit work to other ppl who are already so busy. Damn the bloody idiots! Hope they fall into some shit holes and nv get up!!

I wanted to rant about my company, but changed my mind. Here's an advice, try not to work for any construction firm or contractor.

I'm downloading some World Cup video highlights now. Looks cool. Now that the World Cup is over, some regularity has been restored. Haha. Like for example, I don't keep checking soccer odds every 1 hour already.

Crap. And why am I downloading these World Cup videos? Because I cant go out! I am hoping that my ankle will stop swelling by today and don't wish to walk around. The few chinese sin seh I know are all closed on Sundays. Damnit. Wondering whether should I take mc tmr, or brave the pain and go to work and then see a doc after that. But by then my ankle could be broken already. Maybe I should take mc tmr. Nvm shall see how.

I played soccer @ NTU field today. It was good, I scored a goal in 15 mins and then after a while got tackled and sprained my ankle. Damn sad lah. This was my 1st time playing 11-a-side soccer with my A01 gang and I had to come off after only playing for slightly less than 30 mins.

Stupid ankle. Stupid guy who tripped me. May you fall inside a long kang! A very deep one! ARGHH! Now I cant play for 2 weeks minimum. Damn.